Seen & Heard Sunday: How men get caught cheating

I’ve conducted surveys and interviews among my friends both male and female to determine how men usually get caught cheating. Below is the general consensus:

He’ll tell on himself- Men use the mantra, “You go looking for something, you’ll find it”. Yes she’ll find it if you are cheating, in which case she probably had other corroborating evidence which prompted further investigation. Men have a tendency to be disorganized when it comes to cheating. They’ll leave evidence or they will start acting suspiciously. In most cases, I don’t think men set out to cheat, that’s why they are unprepared and unorganized when it happens (initially). Ladies, trust your instincts, if you think he’s cheating, he probably is.

The other woman will let you know –Yes it never fails, the other woman will be fascinated with you. She can’t wait to let you know that you and your relationship is not all that. She’s usually looking to upgrade herself from other woman to wife and the quickest way to do that is to break up your relationship. She will call you and give you the sorted details of her relationship with your man. She might even come up pregnant. In a lot of cases she is relentless in the pursuit of your man. Sometimes she will tell you out of pure ignorance. She may think HER man is cheating on her with you and will seek to confront you.

His friends will tell you-Don’t be so quick to dismiss his friends’ warnings as “he’s trying to come on to you”. I’ve had several guy friends tell me that their friends broke the “man code” and warned their women that they were being cheated on. Maybe the man’s friend is tired of being used as an alibi or maybe they feel sorry that you are being cheated on. Maybe he is compelled by the guilt of knowing what is being done to you.

Your friends will tell you-Don’t dismiss your own friends’ warnings as them being jealous of your relationship, because this is what your man is going to say when you confront him. Your friend is probably torn about what she should do when she sees your man out with another woman. Women are notorious for believing their man over their girlfriends, but over time, there’s a great chance they will find their girlfriends were right.

You will find out via internet-I cannot tell you how many guys have told me they have been caught cheating via the internet. If a woman wants to know what her man is up to, all she has to do is log on and follow him on Twitter or Facebook, or check the blogs. Twitter and Facebook will surely put Match.com and eHarmony out of business (at least for those who are looking to hook-up). There is an abundance of naïve and thirsty females at your man’s finger tips (literally). If he is an athlete or entertainer depend on the blogs to expose him if he is stepping out. As a matter of fact there are blogs and website dedicated to discussing and comparing notes on athletes and entertainers who may or may not be available.

I will leave you with all the clichés:

Don’t make the obvious invisible.

What is done in the dark will come to light.

You don’t have to look for it, it will find you.

Scandal and Hook-ups: Kelsey Grammer dumps wife via phone.

Who does this? In July, wife Camille was given a heads up that Kelsey was leaving her from a mutual friend. She then called Kelsey who was in New York doing a play, to confirm. He told her he simply didn’t want to be married to her anymore.

Camille Grammer recalls this event in her People magazine interview:

"I asked him if there was anything we could work on," Camille Grammer said. "I offered to go to therapy. Having children, I wasn't ready to throw in the towel. But his mind was already made up. I started crying and he said, 'Oh, grow up.' I said, 'What about our children?' and he said, 'They'll get over it.' It was harsh."

Kelsey and wife Camille with children. Image Credit: Marion Curtis

Kelsey really? Is this how you treat your wife of 14 years? Mother of your two children? The woman you didn’t have sign a pre-nup. Kelsey certainly didn’t plan a good exit strategy. I want so much to believe Kelsey wouldn’t be this callus. I like Kelsey. He executive produced two of my favorite shows; ‘Girlfriends’ and ‘The Game’. Looks like Kelsey is playing out a storyline from one of his shows.

Kelsey with girlfriend Kayte Walsh. Image Credit: Clint Spaulding

The “Frasier” star Grammer confirmed that his flight attendant mistress girlfriend Kayte Walsh had a miscarriage in September 2010.

Ironically Camille just joined the cast of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’, seeing as she will no longer be a wife; she filed for divorce (not that being an actual wife is a qualifier for the show). Camille believes Kelsey encouraged her to be on the show so he could spend more time with his mistress Kayte. Scandalous!

WTF Friday: Naomi Campbell's receding hairline!

On today's edition of WTF Friday:

Naomi Campbell's receding hairline.

Beautiful Model Naomi Campbell

 I am outraged! I can't believe one of the most beautiful women in the
world would let this happen to her hair! Surely she noticed the gradual
ascension of her forehead into hair territory, yet she allowed it to get
to this point. I want to know who is responsible for this! A search of
her primary hairdresser's name yielded no results. I suspect no one
wants to take credit for this disaster!



Naomi Campbell exposing her hair loss

 Naomi was brave enough (I couldn't have done it) to expose her
permanently damaged hair during a photo shoot over the summer. Experts
are calling it 'traction alopecia" due to wearing hair extensions. I
call it a hot mess. I've seen hair loss due to extended braid and weave
wear, but never would I have thought that Naomi Campbell would fall
victim.


Naomi's hair is bald on the sides

 So why did/does she continue to do this to herself? Certainly if she had
been proactive and kept the extensions out and wore wigs for a while,
her hair could have had an opportunity to repair itself and grow back.
Now there may be no remedy for her situation.

C'mon Naomi, I wouldn't expect a worldly, sophisticated, woman like your
self to allow your situation to look that raggedy! If her high priced
hairdressers didn't know how to put extensions in ethic hair, they
should have outfitted her with wigs. If she was going to pay people to
do this to her hair, should could have utilized the services of some
beauty school students who could have yielded her the same results.

The reality show sweepstakes!

Reality shows. Every network has them. But it seems that Bravo and VH1 have captivated audiences with their inside looks of the privileged lives of women who have married, divorced or bred well. Yes I am talking about Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise, VH1’s Basketball Wives, and the new series Football Wives.

I’m not big on reality television, but I’ve seen a couple of episodes of each show. The underlying theme is supposed to be lives of wealth, luxury and opulence, but they end up displaying insecurities, financial troubles, infidelities, and overall cattiness. And not since “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” has there been so many gay husbands getting their shine on.

What would make a woman participate in a program that will make them targets for ridicule and internet gossip: A spin off!

The Real Housewives of D.C.

Dwight Eubanks of The Real Housewives of Atlanta

That’s right;  my theory is the ultimate goal for most of these women is to get their own show. That certainly won’t happen if you are boring and drama free. You see what happened to Deshawn Snow from Season One of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta”. She was gone after just one season. Unfortunately, her drama happened after her exit from the show. Gloria Govan  from Season One of “Basketball Wives”  made it clear on the show she was not interested in being pulled in to the pettiness and bickering that was going on among her fellow cast members, afterall her home was happy…so much for that.

My candidate for the first to get their own spin off certainly wouldn’t have been Bettenny Frankel of “The Real Housewives of New York”! Who's bright I idea was it to do a “Bettenny‘s Getting Married” show? I mean Bettenny never bitch slapped nobody or pulled out someone’s extensions. Correct me if I’m wrong but did she even throw a drink in someone’s face?

Why was Bettenny chosen when Dwight, “The Real Gay Househusband of Atlanta” was available? Hasn’t NeNe stirred up enough trouble to be given consideration? Certainly Vicki Gunvalson of the “Real Housewives of Orange County” has the most seniority and is deserving of a spin off. The ladies of Basketball Wives are twitter darlings and any one of them could have gotten enough support to get their own show.  

Basketball Wives

The Football Wives show is new but my early prediction is that Chanita Foster has enough feistiness for a spin off. I’m not considering Pilar Sanders at all because she and her husband had a reality show at one time, “Prime Time Love” (is Football Wives a move in the wrong direction for her?).  
   

Good luck to all the ladies in the spin off sweepstakes. The competition is stiff.

Why Are Women Carrying the Blame For Being Unmarried?

A good friend asked me why I am I still single. He couldn’t understand why a woman with so much going for her hadn’t been taken off the market. I told him a better question is: Why are men choosing Single over Married.

A lot of women in my position (educated, career focused, financially stable) are single simply because we have no choice.  Many of us would love to be in a marriage (or at least committed meaningful relationship) but the opportunity just hasn’t presented itself.

I’ve seen the ABC news story on successful single black women and why we aren’t getting married at the same rate as females of other races. I’ve seen the internet debates that point the finger at the black woman and what is wrong with her. I’m not interested in discussing that, I want to examine the real issue: the men.

The men are the issue because they hold the key to marriage. If they decide they want to be married they have a plethora of women willing to become Mrs. When a woman is ready for marriage she has to search out men who are in the same frame of mind. This is not related to just black women; American women of various races are facing the same issue: Men are choosing to be single.

I think men are not placing value on love and relationships and choosing to wait until later in life to get married or remain single permanently. Why be contractually and legally committed to another person when you can live as a family with children without being married? What is the benefit of marriage? If one woman chooses not to engage in marriage type behavior with a man in hopes that this will make him marry her, she may find that he will move on to other women who will.

So why do women carry the blame? Why is it our fault that we are unmarried?  

Chasing a Video Chick? This is what you should know...

A gossip website known for putting people on blast posted an article that I found very interesting.

And the headline read:

WARNING: TO ALL YOU DUDES THINKIN ABOUT WIFING UP A VIDEO CHICK . . . CHECK OUT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE . . . AFTER THEY RETIRE!! (SMH)

I was Twitter pals with the subject former video model.

The article displayed pictures of this woman from a few years ago when she was in the prime of her magazine, video and calendar modeling. Then they compared those pictures to more recent unflattering ones.

While I think the site was dirty for making her the poster child for ‘faded glory’; the headline certainly got me to thinking…

Does a man really know what he’s getting when he chases after a video chick/reality show star/ stripper?

Does he think he’s getting a woman who ‘thicker’ right now but won’t gain additional weight? Does he think she goes to bed airbrushed? He does know she probably won’t be walking around the house in booty shorts but more like a tank top and sweat pants, right? He does know that her hairdresser can’t work for her around the clock so there will be days when her hair might get a little thick from lack of flat ironing or a little thin when she needs her extensions re-done, right?

Furthermore, she has made a career of showing her assets so he won’t be disappointed when he finds out she’s had her share of ‘sponsors’ and ‘benefactors’, mainly athletes and entertainers, right? 

Fellas, you do understand that these women, like all women, will not always be camera ready; and you are prepared for the times when she is not picture perfect…right?

HOTNESS: The Caucasian Edition

I’m all about diversity. Hotness knows no color, no race, and no ethnicity.

With that being said…HOTNESS: The Caucasian Edition. In no particular order:

 Image Credit: www.sweetandtalented.com

Josh Hartnett – This sexy actor totally does it for me. Josh can be seen in "Lucky Number Slevin", "Pearl Harbor",  and "Black Dahlia". Hartnett has been romantically linked to actresses Scarlett Johannson, Sienna Miller, Penelope Cruz and singer Rihanna. He is currently dating model Sophie Lie.

 Image Credit: www.gettyimages.com

Channing Tatum – Maybe it was his sexy moves in the movie “Step Up” that made me take notice of this man. Tatum recently finished filming the action thriller “Haywire” and just started filming “The Contortionist’s Handbook” . He was married to his “Step Up” co-star Jenna Dewan in July of 2009, but prior to that he dated Amanda Bynes.

 Image Credit: Google Images

Paul Walker- He first stole my heart in the “Fast and Furious” movies, but seeing him in “Takers” took my breath away (especially his butt naked pool scene). Fans can rejoice because Paul has signed on to star in the next installment of the “Fast and Furious”.  Jaime King and Denise Richards are among the lucky ladies who have dated Paul before he popped the question to his fiancée Jasmine Pilchard-Gosnell in February of 2009.

Image Credit: Google Images

Jonathan Rhys-Meyers -  As King Henry Rex on Showtime’s “The Tudor’s”, Rhys-Meyers can have any woman in the kingdom. This is probably true in real life too.  The Irish import has been quite the ladies man since his “Bend It Like Beckham” days and has been linked to actress Toni Collette and model Lisa Butcher; but it is longtime girlfriend Reena Hammer who has his heart.

Janet Does Good Morning American and The View

This morning, Janet Jackson stopped by both Good Morning America and The View as she did the publicity rounds for her new film, 'For Colored Girls' which opens November 5th. In addition to discussing the film, she shared that acting is her first love, and it was her father who pushed her into music. She said she will continue to do both acting and music.
Janet also revealed that she has a book about self esteem and weight loss due to be released in January of 2011. She said she still has self esteem issues that stem from her childhood.

During her interviews, Janet took the opportunity to quash rumors that she is engaged to current boyfriend Wissam Al Mana, a 35-year-old Iranian billionaire.

The Tyler Perry film, ‘For Colored Girls’ is based off Ntozake Shange’s collection of poems that was later turned into the play ‘entitled, "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf." The film focuses on women who are treated badly by men in relationships. Janet kept her distance from her phenomenal co-stars off camera in an effort to stay in character.  

Perhaps Janet is still keeping a distance from her co-stars. Loretta Devine who stars as Juanita in the movie joined Jackson on The View. Upon entering the set of the show she hugged everyone except Janet who was seated in the middle of the hosts. Seems she purposely avoided contact with Janet. Beef maybe?

Other observations:

·         Janet’s short haircut is growing on me

·         Her character in the movie has green eyes. I absolutely hate the colored contact lenses she wore for the film.

Halle and Oliver Make Their Debut!

Photo by Jeffrey Meyer

Actress Halle Berry and boyfriend Oliver Martinez walked the red carpet hand in hand at the 32nd Anniversary Carousel of Hope Gala in Los Angeles this weekend. You may remember Martinez as the menacing prison escapee in the movie S.W.A.T. He is currently co-starring with Berry in the upcoming movie Dark Tide where they met on set. Rumor has it that Berry had her sights set on the French actor prior to filming the movie. This is not the first time Martinez has hooked up with a co-star. He and S.W.A.T. co-star Michelle Rodriguez dated briefly after meeting on the S.W.A.T set.

Berry, who is notoriously unlucky in love has not spoken publicly about her relationship with Martinez, as she tries to settle on a custody arrangement with Gabriel Aubrey, the father of her daughter Nahla Ariel.

Brandy’s focus is NOT on sex!

R&B songstress, and now Dancing with the Stars contestant, Brandy Norwood has been celibate for years according to her Life & Style magazine interview.

Media outlets are reporting that it has been six years since Brandy has had sexual relations, however Brandy never disclosed how many years it had been. What she said was the following:

“….I haven't been with a man seriously and in love in six years...And, honestly, I tend to abstain if I'm not in a relationship."~Brandy Norwood.

That does not necessarily mean it’s been that long since she’s got her swerve on. Perhaps it’s only been a couple of years since she ‘s been sexually active, but longer since she’s been serious and in love with a man. It can be assumed that she was referring to her former fiancée, NBA player Quentin Richardson. Their engagement ended in 2005.

Photo by Dean Kirkland

                                                      Quentin Ricardson and Brandy

Brandy has recently been linked to rapper Flo-Rida but more importantly she has been focusing on getting back to what she knows best; music. She reportedly has a new deal with Island Def Jam is working on new music with super producers Timbaland and The Dream.

Recovering Undercover Homosexual Lover? Gavin had a secret...

Recently it has become public knowledge that Gavin Rossdale, husband of  Gwen Stefani, the former front woman of the pop/rock group ‘No Doubt’, has engaged in what has been described as a ”fling” with cross-dressing man in the years prior to his marriage to Gwen.

The cross dresser, Peter Robinson, who goes by the stage name of Marilyn, describes the relationship differently, saying that Rossdale was, “the love of his life”.

                                                                            Robinson with Rossdale

Rossdale has since moved on and into a fairytale marriage of 13 years to Stefani that includes two adorable little boys.

I have not seen any responses from Gwen regarding her husband’s liaison but it’s hard for me to imagine that this was a topic that went unaddressed between the couple.

I don’t think I could live happily ever after knowing that my husband had engaged in homosexual experimentation. Maybe Gwen wasn’t shocked when this information went public because she already knew… or maybe she was shocked and decided that it was not a deal breaker for her. ::mmm ok::

Who is Monyetta Shaw?

By now I’m sure most of you have seen pictures of Will and Grace Ne-Yo and Monyetta popping up on the internet. She is pregnant with their first child (a girl). As their January 2011 due date approaches, I thought it was about time that we found out more about his child’s mother whom he describes as his bestfriend.

Monyetta Shaw is a native of Louisiana. She has studied at Southern University and Louisiana Tech. Prior to her relationship with Ne-Yo she could be seen in the movies Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins and Soul Men, both released in 2008. She can also be seen in music videos for 50 Cent (Burn Me), Dem Franchise Boys (Laffy Taffy), and T-Pain (In Love with a Stripper Dancer). Prior to her video modeling, she was a sales associate at Tiffany & Co.

It is unclear how she and Ne-Yo met. She has been linked however to the dearly parted NFL player Steve McNair and rapper Ludacris.

Photo: www.stupidcelebrities.net

Million Dollar Smiles

I’ve always wondered why people wait so long to get their teeth fixed. The smile is one of the most noticeable features a person can have and yet many neglect it. How many times have we seen an otherwise attractive celebrity and wonder why they haven’t gotten their smile fixed? Certainly they have the money. With all the cosmetic options available, there is no reason a person with the financial means can’t get their mouth improved.

There are also some celebrities who can’t wait to put their money where their mouth is (literally). Perhaps I am naïve to think that having diamonds implanted in one’s teeth is a ridiculous waste of money, but the owners of these million dollars smiles may not:

Lil Wayne’s diamond encrusted teeth proved to be a liability to him when he had to have dental surgery prior to doing a prison sentence to treat teeth that had been decaying underneath his diamond façade.

Kanye has offered no real explanation for his recent icing of his bottom row of teeth except, “"It's just something that rock stars are supposed to do." ::mmm ok::

What is HiYelaGurlisms?

High Yellow Girl - (adjective) a term used to describe a light complexioned female of African heritage. 

Mannerism - (noun) a distinct expressive trait, artistic style or idiosyncrasy.

HiYelaGurlisms - (noun) the distinct expressive techniques of this particular light complexioned female of African heritage.