A good friend asked me why I am I still single. He couldn’t understand why a woman with so much going for her hadn’t been taken off the market. I told him a better question is: Why are men choosing Single over Married.
A lot of women in my position (educated, career focused, financially stable) are single simply because we have no choice. Many of us would love to be in a marriage (or at least committed meaningful relationship) but the opportunity just hasn’t presented itself.
I’ve seen the ABC news story on successful single black women and why we aren’t getting married at the same rate as females of other races. I’ve seen the internet debates that point the finger at the black woman and what is wrong with her. I’m not interested in discussing that, I want to examine the real issue: the men.
The men are the issue because they hold the key to marriage. If they decide they want to be married they have a plethora of women willing to become Mrs. When a woman is ready for marriage she has to search out men who are in the same frame of mind. This is not related to just black women; American women of various races are facing the same issue: Men are choosing to be single.
I think men are not placing value on love and relationships and choosing to wait until later in life to get married or remain single permanently. Why be contractually and legally committed to another person when you can live as a family with children without being married? What is the benefit of marriage? If one woman chooses not to engage in marriage type behavior with a man in hopes that this will make him marry her, she may find that he will move on to other women who will.
So why do women carry the blame? Why is it our fault that we are unmarried?
