HiYelaBoi's Tweef: The Chris Brown/Raz B Twitter Beef

I know many people are still stuck on Facebook and haven't upgraded their social networking experience to include Twitter, so they missed out on the spectacle that went on yesterday between Chris Brown and former B2K member Raz B.

I struggled with whether this was an issue I wanted to address on this blog because I simple can not tolerate and will not instigate buffoonery but since these two decided to take it public, so will I.

I'm not sure what made the "tweef" pop off but I know that started with comments that Raz B made about Rihanna and escalated to the police looking for Raz B's brother in connection with threats made on Chris Brown's life. The Twitter exchange included insults about Chris Brown's domestic violence and woman beating issues, and Raz B's alleged rape/molestation.

Raz B's brother who goes by the name of Rickey Romance, took to video to make threats Chris Brown for the comments he made against  Raz B.

This R&B beef must stop! Can't this all be settled with a dance-off refereed by Steve Harvey like on the movie "You Got Served"?

Assets and Liabilities: The Business of Relationships

As the new year approaches, now is a good time to evaluate the people and relationships in your life. I've been told that a person is a combination of their five closest people to them. What does those five people say about you? Are the people you surround yourself with assets or liabilities?

One of the closest people in your life is clearly your significant other. Sometimes it is difficult to accurately assess your romantic relationships. Because you love this person with your heart; thinking of your relationship in terms of assets and liabilities may seem a little cold but it is totally necessary!

If a person does not encourage you to be the very best you can be, they are a liability. If they offer you no help or assistance in times of trouble they are a liability. If they tell you what they think will just shut you up instead of what you NEED to hear they are a liability.

If the person is your personal cheerleader they are an asset. If this person wants nothing but the best for you they are an asset. If this person does things to make you feel special and appreciated they are an asset.

This is especially important in romantic relationships simply because your expectations of a lover are different than that of a friend or a family member. This is the person that you share your most intimate moments with...are they an asset or liability?

Homie, Lover, Friend...

Not that I am an expert on love and relationships (I'm single), but I understand that ultimately a man wants a homie, lover, and a friend. Each title is equally important. The following is my idea of what exactly that is...

The Homie: The homie portion of the relationship consists of woman that man can feel comfortable being himself around. She understands him. She understands just because they are not in the same room does not mean they aren't together. She's his favorite card partner, she can watch his favorite sport with him and add meaningful commentary, and she finish the rap song lyric that he starts.

The Lover: Being a lover is not specifically about sex. While the sexual chemistry is strong; it is more about the LOVE. Love is what makes her fix his plate for him. Love is what makes her put up with habits without saying a word. This is why she loves his mama. This is why she shows him respect and why she looks with admiration.

The Friend: Friend is the most important part of the relationship. Friendship is the glue that makes everything else come together. It is dependability, it trust, it is responsibility, it is expectations, it is the respect, it is sharing hopes and dreams, and it is enjoying each other's company.

I believe every man wants a homie, lover, friend. However fellas, when you find a woman who can be your homie, lover, and your friend you should not take the relationship for granted, she should still be treated like a princess.

The unfortunate passing of Lady Tee....

If you know ANYTHING about me; you know that I have a serious fascination with Teena Marie, AKA Lady Tee. Please engage in a moment of silence for the LADY herself before enjoying the lyrical stylings of "Deja Vu...I've been here before"...



RIP to the best vocalist of our time (in my opinion)....my voice will never be the same! I am truly devastated.

Don't underestimate the power of being bitter!

What I am about to say will go against everything that self-help and relationship books and even the Bible says…but I like my thoughts deeply rooted in reality!

 

Most people can't let a past love go until they get angry. Really angry! Anger makes you not care what they are doing or who they are seeing. Anger makes you reflect on the time you wasted with that person and how you were mis-led, mis-treated, or mis-informed by that person. Anger is what allows you to truly get over the other person. After the anger is gone it is replaced by bitterness. Bitterness is a by-product of anger. It is a coping mechanism. You have gotten over what the offending ex lover had done to you but you haven't forgotten. Don't underestimate the power of bitterness! Bitterness is that emotion that stops you from taking the ex back! Bitterness will stop you from doing stupid stuff like wondering what they are doing or riding by their house.

I'm not big on forgiveness either. Again I know that you are supposed to forgive those who do you wrong but…..forget that! I will not "reward' bad behavior nor will I freely give the gift of forgiveness. Some things can't be fixed with a simple "I'm sorry". Use your powers of forgiveness for yourself! And if the other person shows real signs of rehabilitation, remorse and repentance, then you can forgive them. Other than that "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" is just words.

 

Here's the disclaimer: You can not allow these emotions and bad situations to build up into "baggage". Baggage only hurts the person carrying it. You have already been hurt by the ex; don't allow them to continue to hurt you! You use the experience as a learning opportunity and move on! It is unfair to the people who do genuinely care about you and it is unfair to yourself to penalize people in your present and future for things that people in your past has done. You owe it to yourself to go from bitter to better to blessed!

 

Can men and women be just friends?

My answer is absolutely! Many people would disagree, but these would probably be the people who can’t handle themselves in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. This is so unfortunate because having a friend of the opposite sex can be mutually beneficial.   

The problem arises when people don’t respect boundaries. Meaning, if you are in a relationship, you have to set rules for opposite sex friendships.  For example, you cannot have an opposite sex friend who don’t get along with your significant other. And any activity that specifically excludes your spouse/lover (other than planning a surprise or shopping for a special gift) should be strictly forbidden. Another forbidden activity is anything that involves dim or no lighting including movies. Please be able to recognize what is inappropriate!  If the activities can’t be enjoyed by all, they probably shouldn’t be engaged in. This doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy an activity without your honey, but there should be an open invitation for him/her to join. 

Men and women can be friends and it makes good sense! I know I appreciate having male friends when I am trying to understand the male psyche or need to decode the secrets of male behavior. In return I often help my male friends find gifts for their wives/girlfriends, give them dating advice, and assist them in analyzing female motives and intentions. Let’s abandon the notion that having a female friend is like having a girlfriend on a waiting list or that having a guy friend is like having a sex partner on standby…mature people should be able to maintain friendships….regardless of gender.

The internet as a cheater catching tool!

If you have questions about your honey's fidelity, check the internet! The internet is an invaluable tool for tracking your boo's activities!

There’s websites that are dedicated to getting the low down on the cheater in your life like http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/ and http://www.dontdateherdude.com/. There are discussion boards like http://www.lipstickalley.com/  and http://www.talk-sports.net/  that discuss celebs and athletes dating habits in case you are dating someone of that caliber. And of course www.cheaters.com, www.mediatakeout.com and http://www.tmz.com/ expose cheaters of all walks of life on a daily basis.

However, if you really want to see what your beloved is up to, go no further than Facebook or Twitter, for nothing is sacred in the social network. Is Facebook/Twitter running your relationship? Or is your relationship ruining Facebook/Twitter?  Be suspicious if your lover doesn’t want to follow each other on Twitter or be Facebook friends. Those Facebook comments and Twitter posts can give you a good clue as to where your mate’s eye might be wondering. Now if only there was a way to hack into Twitter DM (Direct Message)…

And let’s not forget to check out those pics from those party websites! Sometimes if you look close enough…in the background… you might see “yours” with another…

Realistically, if your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, or lover is a cheater, it can’t be blamed on internet exposure. The internet was just the method by which they were caught.  Place blame where blame is due: On the Cheater!