What I am about to say will go against everything that self-help and relationship books and even the Bible says…but I like my thoughts deeply rooted in reality!
Most people can't let a past love go until they get angry. Really angry! Anger makes you not care what they are doing or who they are seeing. Anger makes you reflect on the time you wasted with that person and how you were mis-led, mis-treated, or mis-informed by that person. Anger is what allows you to truly get over the other person. After the anger is gone it is replaced by bitterness. Bitterness is a by-product of anger. It is a coping mechanism. You have gotten over what the offending ex lover had done to you but you haven't forgotten. Don't underestimate the power of bitterness! Bitterness is that emotion that stops you from taking the ex back! Bitterness will stop you from doing stupid stuff like wondering what they are doing or riding by their house.
I'm not big on forgiveness either. Again I know that you are supposed to forgive those who do you wrong but…..forget that! I will not "reward' bad behavior nor will I freely give the gift of forgiveness. Some things can't be fixed with a simple "I'm sorry". Use your powers of forgiveness for yourself! And if the other person shows real signs of rehabilitation, remorse and repentance, then you can forgive them. Other than that "I'm sorry" and "I forgive you" is just words.
Here's the disclaimer: You can not allow these emotions and bad situations to build up into "baggage". Baggage only hurts the person carrying it. You have already been hurt by the ex; don't allow them to continue to hurt you! You use the experience as a learning opportunity and move on! It is unfair to the people who do genuinely care about you and it is unfair to yourself to penalize people in your present and future for things that people in your past has done. You owe it to yourself to go from bitter to better to blessed!
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